Frustration -venting post.

Why do we even write these things? I am mad. At a lot.

My husband is being good – so yay on that.

But my sister is being a twit – my good friend is never ever ever able to talk.

Little heartbreaking here.

My sister works 72 miles from home – a long drive for not a lot of money.
She used to save money if she was working a closing shift then an opening shift by just staying at work – slept in her car. Well now that she got internet boyfriend who lives only 38 miles from work She decided that she needs to save money by spending the night over there – 6 nights per week.
SO I asked her are you moving in to his mom’s house with him? she says no he would like that but I only do it because it is easier for driving to work (sure…)

I told her well you spend every night you can there – seems you are already living there.
She comes back with well that is not what I am trying to do I just can’t make everyone happy. I will probably end up moving in with him – we are eventually going to get married or that is the plan.

why? WHY?!?

I do not want to alienate my sister – I love her to bits – but…this whole thing make me want to barf. This guy is no good. There I said it. I tried to like him but I feel like I can’t even learn to like him now. My sister was married once – and she has had a few long term boyfriends but never thought I would see the day when she decided to move out into her boyfriend’s momma’s house.
Besides that when I asked if he was okay that she didn’t want kids -( Oh no he wants kids!) With who? You are planning on getting pregnant?!? (well no not PLANNING but if it happens…)
So you are gonna shack up with some athiest and have his baby – your first baby at 36 years old?
Ok I officially do not know who you are now.

Number two – my dear friend – another person I used to adore but now it seems I don’t know – I would like her to visit – but she is always busy. I visit her – but her house is total chaos, never one moment of quiet. My house is almost always less chaotic many times over. right now – pure silence. She says I can’t visit – have to do laundry. Are you washing it by hand? no she has two kids in public school, her sister lives with her and her kids go to school also.
As I look ahead to Sukkot..I am just so depressed. no one is interested but me. holidays are blah when you are the only one who cares…

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5 thoughts on “Frustration -venting post.

  1. cagey

    People have to be allowed to make their own mistakes, no matter how painful it may be. The more you push, the further they will only attempt to make it work out of spite. What is it about the man that you don’t like, in particular?

    Reply
  2. gmaali Post author

    yes yes I know – keep in mind that I have been helping out my sister for a long time, our mother was out of the picture when we were in Jr. High. When I worked up north I came home and bought a house – and sissy and I lived together for a while. I got married in 2000 – Her first marriage was the following spring. She married a blob. He never did anything. She was working 3 jobs and he was in ‘depression’…So she worked all the time and miscarried her first pregnancy at work. It sucked. She kicked him out, got another b/f from ’04-’06 – my brother moved in but she moved out of state.and I sold th ehouse in ’06. Her new beau was going to finish a degree and move out there…so after 12 months, he was being a putz. Finally she moved back and he then moved out there to be with his ‘other’ girl friend.
    She stayed at my house rent free since then…spring of ’07 When we built the guest house we made a place for her. Fall of ’07 she got a new guy – that I liked quite a bit – but he made some bad choices and was dropped in spring of ’10.
    The latest guy lives with his mom. Is afraid to leave the house – (has anxiety attacks – so he can never do anything unless he has weeks of prep and might freak out last minute). Has no spirituality. Smokes. Is all about technology, cars and money. Brags. is a germa phobe. Has only met her family (us) one time. They started dating in Feb of 2013 and She was spending the night there a few weeks later. Now she stays there 80% of the week and never sees or talks to anyone else. She is always grumpy. Isolated. I just can’t see one good thing happening down the path she is on – but like you said I can not say anything. People do what they like andif she is on a course to self destruct…I hate it but I cant help it.

    Reply
    1. cagey

      Ahh I see. One of those kind of men. Well in her long relationship history she does seem to have a pattern here, right? Each man has something rather critically wrong about him in character — flaws she may likely be attracted to in an attempt to ‘fix them’ or make them better. That never works of course. Based on his behaviour you describe, you’d think it unlikely that any sort of wedding will happen — afterall how could he if he is that phobic on multiple levels? Likewise though you can’t change her either. In each of the situations she’s gotten herself into, no good things seem to have come of it on the path she travels. Despite this though, she’s made it through. Need to leave this up to the Lord I’m afraid.

      Reply
  3. gmaali Post author

    Yah…I hate that answer but I know it. That is why it is called a Venting Post and not the “How I Slapped her up the Head and Made her See the Light” – blog-a-thon…
    The sad thing is I want her to be happy – hang out with someone who brings out the best in her. The only reason she is with a guy is because the girls at work were bugging her – you need a boy friend why are you still single? You should try this website. Gotta get someone in love wth you for valentines day. A month or so ago we went to a bday party for her co workers kid and they were asking her- so when are you going to start a family? When she was out of ear shot I told them that was a completely idiotic thing to say – and they should mind their own business.

    Reply

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