Child rearing… When they are babies they are in a car seat facing the back of the vehicle. They get no say so in where you are going or how long it takes they can cry but you are the driver and they are safe.
When they are young children – you might ask them which they prefer; playground or movie? You give them choices you can both live with but still make them buckle up. If they kick the seat there are consequences. If they are going to be sick they can tell you.
You tell stories, sing songs, ask them what they think about stuff.
A little later they may be helpful finding a street sign or landmark or helping to read a map.
You might ask them to help plan a route.
When they are early teens (based on previous behavior) they might bring the old truck around back while you hover next to them in the passenger seat.When they seem skilled and mature you will teach them to drive. They will keep checking with you to make sure they are doing okay, ask for feedback and you are right there to grab the wheel or pull the brake.
Once they get a license – they are under the same rules as you are. If they are pulled over, they pay the fine. You are not always in the passenger seat. Hopefully they are trained well and can get where they need to go.

Or you can start off with them in a car seat but stopping every time they hiccup.
When they are young they tell you they don’t want to go, they have a fit and make you miserable.
A little later every car ride is an argument. They whine, they complain, they are hungry.
Later they want to go in their friend’s mom’s car, they want to stay home, they want to go without you. They have ear buds in, stop bothering them with questions.
They take the car when you aren’t looking; they lie about the scratch and missing gas.
When you try to teach them to drive, they know everything, you bother them. Stop talking. They pass their test on the third try and they don’t want another word from you.
They drive like an idiot, every time they drive, you worry they will wreck the car.
They think you nag too much. You take separate cars.

What’s the difference?


2 thoughts on “Driving.

  1. gmaali Post author

    yeah this is the one that came to me when I was thinking about Marie and Joe. She was blessed with soem super awesome kids but she never wants to hear of my kid because he is such a show off (not really but in their eyes). And since I have the privledge of homeschooling that is why my kid is nice and some people don’t have that option. This is one of my tekels – wanting to influence what i sout of my sphere – everytime I see those kids interact with their family I can SEE how their spirit is crushed but if I offer insight it is because my kids is perfect and I don’t know anything about rebellious kids. (Ignoring my grown stepsons, grandkids, my work in camp, my education in child care, my afterschool programs, my 4-H work)
    Here is the thing: I know the Lord told me to leave it for now and so I will. But my heart is broken for those kids.
    PS it isn’t just parental interaction – Marie interacts with her kids – but half the time it is the “I say – you do” attitude and the other half is the “whatever – I don’t care” attitude with zero clue as to what mode we are in.


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