No really – it is breeding season – I have SEVEN male goats. They are all trying to prove how awesome they are by showing how far they can pee. So far five of them have been on one or more “dates” with the girls – and if every breeding has been a good one – I have a dozen pregnant goats out there. Of the girls who are old enough to be mamas only 5 are not bred – We also have 6 young girls that are still tiny.
Of course I have no hay in the barn. I need to get a refill.
The other night I had a dream and it kind of clarified my defunctive mood as of late. I was talking to my mom (well not really – some bossy lady, I just gave her a “mom” tag in my dream) was asking me why I was so grouchy about my sister moving – oh many many valid reasons…but the one that stuck out as a message to myself was that I kind of expected that I would have more people here. I have a house and an apartment on my property. I have five bedrooms and three bathrooms in total – and only four people live here. Orchard, garden, greenhouse, chickens, dogs, cats, goats, five acres of land and only four people.
All that maintenance, all that production…for four people? My sister used to be my right hand helper – she just knew what to do. She could nearly read my mind. So I am left with my dad, my husband and my son…and myself. To do everything. And I fail – it is hard to care without another girl around. My son is pretty good, he loves the critters and is often a better person than I am – but no matter how hard he tries – there is something about having another girl around to chat with – girls can talk for hours – boys – about 3 minutes. My dad and husband…well…let’s just say that with out my sister there are no dreamers to dream with. Guys are all “bottom line” “get the job done” posturing, pissing contests, maybe the seven lovestruck bucks are affecting my feelings on this – huh? Ugh – I hate it – it suffocates.
It smashes tears right out of my eyes. And my husband will be home for four days starting today – so every day will be a nag fest – I am so sick of hearing how much needs to be done around here.
At least my sister was fun to work with. If we were cleaning our the fridge or plucking chickens or whatever, we could just have a good time. Boys…men…are not like that. It is oppressive.
So if you have noticed I am not around…I am just trying to do a lot of stuff and everything takes a long long time when your heart isn’t in it.