zapped

sorry folks not much is going on – Daniel continues with Parkour – and Minecraft. He got his Skype up so he is talking with friends from all over – which is fun for him. They boys are planning another Tempest run this weekend. I had a CT scan of my lungs last week – that was interesting…

Things have been slow around here – highlight of the month so far was getting the garage cleaned out. I have scads of pregnant goats in my yard – got a bunch of hay delivered. No weather here yet – but I am okay with that – I am not ready for the cold yet. Ah – who am I kidding I am NEVER ready for the cold – the thought of it makes my bones ache all over. My sister mentioned it was 4° where she lives and I was dumbfounded. She never got the birthday card I sent her.

My FB news feed is full of junk – I don’t really want to say Junk like that – not that it is worthless – but  . You know how it is – when it is just tough to get excited about stuff. Woot turkey. woot candles..woot – freezing my toes off. Yes..I know it is much colder where you are and I sound like a sissy – but that is why I am not where you are – I would die like a baby basil plant.

Today the Doc wants to see me to go over my CT scan. I can’t imagine it would be anything serious. I am nearly 40 for pity’s sake. My insurance tells me that this little soiree into the lung disorder diagnosis field has only cost me…about $300 – but I have not got the bill for the CT scan yet.

On the religious front I am currently getting a lot of news from people who are all about sacred names and which day is the Sabbath and how to count from the moon. Since I am a little depressed my current outlook is – I can’t expect to figure this stuff out on my own…and I don’t have the energy to make a real effort to investigate who is right and who is wrong. Even when the information these people are presenting seems pretty accurate – it is hard not to see them as arrogant. I grew up with words like God and Lord – They insist anyone who says things like that are in deep trouble, even words like Adonai, Holy and who knows what else are off limits – if you slip up with a Jehovah, or a Yahway or heaven help you a Jesus …boy are you in for an earful. I have an equally hard time with people who insist on using every ancient Hebrew name as I do with people sending cards telling that  “Jesus is the reason for the season….” Or every knee must submit to the name Jesus… my husband still praying to Jesus at mealtime – well meaning is not a daily substitute for correctness…Right now I am just tuckered out. I don’t feel like picking things apart. It seems like a passionate distraction from what is important. But it has really affected my prayer life, Praying with the wrong words…such a legalistic trap. I feel like I have people over me saying – Tsk Tsk – she said “Lord”…oh that will never do..doesn’t she know Lord is a name for Baal? How does she expect to be taken seriously when she can’t even get the names right?!?
But when I think my intention is what matters….well then I am stuck in the thought of if intention is all that matters than People can intend good even while they do evil…so that can’t be right. Arguments like this make the whole world seem cheap.
My brother will come up to visit on Tuesday. With his family. I better pull a turkey out of the freezer – or…I could dispatch a couple of chickens…in any case the goats are hungry and I have sat here long enough…gotta start the day sometime.

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One thought on “zapped

  1. annamatrix

    I’m pulling out two roosters, so we’re right there with ya.
    And I don’t know, but spiritually, things are black. No-white-of-the-eye black. I don’t know what it means.

    Reply

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