How about …random? and heavy.

  • I hate football, mixed martial arts and just about any other televised physical competition.
  • My husband will be home for 20 days straight starting on Thursday through 1/5/15
  • I am dreading the next three weeks.
  • He can’t function with the TV off.
  • no you don’t understand.
  • DREADING: being overcome with oppressive heaviness.
  • As in I could burst into tears right now.
  • I have a thought that we may come to the realization how little we have in common this month.
  • The micro management will be intense and the cold and the close quarters. not fun.
  • Also I have his Company Christmas party on Friday – which I expect will be zero fun.
  • I don’t want gifts this year – I don’t want to get them, I don’t want to give them.
  • Subject change.
  •  I was reading through Maccabees the other day.
  • Antiochus stole everything of value from the temple.
  • Then he paid his soldiers a years worth of pay to fight the Maccabees
  • Antiochus was worried that if he ran out of money he might not be able to be so generous with gifts and his lifestyle.
  • So he went to Persia and made those people pay taxes.
  • The other sects of Judaism didn’t like the Maccabees because they were thought to be too politically/militarily motivated
  •  The Maccabees formed an alliance with the Romans against the Greeks.
  • Someone mentioned this week that Jesus (and I use that name with intention here) was invented by the Romans to control the people.
  • They call it Ceaser’s Messiah.
  • That’s Heavy.
  • way heavy.
  • Honestly I haven’t even looked yet – because I just know in the depths of my heart how heavy it will get and I think I am already pretty low.
  • I don’t have the energy to be crushed.
  • The power went out the other night.
  • 60MPH+ winds.
  • And I realized I have nothing organized, set up, put together.
  • And that is heavy.
  • And while my husband is home he will want everything done, organized, arranged, cleaned and I  ….    just… can’t …. see …having the energy for that.

7 thoughts on “How about …random? and heavy.

  1. cagey

    In my house the tv is on 24/7 it seems. It’s even on when people are snoring mouth agape and even when they’ve left the room. Can’t stand it. Can I ask though, why this topic regarding Jesus is heavy or uncomfortable perhaps for you to the point it would bring you lower? If husband is not providing an enriching environment while he is home for the 20 days, is there something you can do to fill that empty void?

  2. gmaali Post author

    I keep the TV off as much as possible – with the exception of watching the Flash because it is one thing I will watch with the guys. Before that Danny and I watched Sword Art Online. On occasion I will watch Adventure time and Regular show – yes they are dumb – but kind of an endearing dumb. Danny and I watch Dr Who on Netflix . I can’t watch with my husband because he is a chatter box. He wants to solve the mystery and tell everyone how he figured it out – IMHO suspension of disbelief is the entire point of the theatrical experience.
    My husband is not a bad guy he is just a high strung guy. He is always busy (unless planted in front of the TV)
    My dad has his TV on (and LOUD all the time), but that is because he is all by himself there and it keeps him company.
    There is an online group for messianics I can’t remember how I found them, but it was about the time that V’s pool died – summer of 2011. And I chatted there from time to time – but recently one of the main people who moderate discovered some people who are convinced the entire Jesus story was invented by the Romans. And I just don’t have the energy to wade through it.
    Usually I am pretty excited to tackle challenges but lately – I’ve had about 6 months of – not so much.

    1. cagey

      Well, Yeshua is real. Jesus? Not so much. So on the face of it, everything that Christians and Catholics hold dear about ‘Jesus’ and those after him — born on Christmas, died on Easter, looks like a glowingly handsome white supermodel and so much more… everything basically that turned a person away from the Jewishness of Yeshua and into the Romanesque of him is kind of correct. It’s easier to subjugate a people if you just turn him literally into any other god in the Greco-Roman pantheon.. and then later the Norse pantheon.. etc etc etc. And that is the reason why the religion is all shades of screwed up today. The apostles knew it.. tried to fight it (against the Romans, the Greco-Roman, and Gnostic Jewish mysticism influences)… died for it.

      1. gmaali Post author

        yeah but these guys are trying to say there was never a Yeshua at all – it was the titus flavious the entire time – no miracles no fulfilled prophesy, no significance to the crucifixion , no resurrection, no outpouring of the Spirit – just a farce stitched together by the Romans. a peaceful myth to keep the Jews chilled out.

  3. annamatrix

    I haven’t had a single desire to study since Cheshvan 17, either. I’m half a mind thinking that the Holy Spirit was taken out on Flood Day – removed. That we’re much like we were before the Apostle’s Pentecost… where the Spirit comes and indwells as needed, but not all of the time. It feels very much that way, anyhow.

    We don’t have TV on, either. Not all day long. One musical on the weekends, one ‘Quantum Leap’ for history. That’s *it*.

    ((((hugs)))). Don’t worry about other sects. There’s always some weird off-the-wall hypothesis out there. I won’t be swayed. I pray you won’t, either.


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